thoughts

i just want to re-read all my old favourite books and play all my old favourite mp3s. i just want to sit here and let the stain of it all set in. i want to rub my fingers across the fading shadows that are carved into my room’s walls. i just want to be quiet for awhile, stay lost in the jaw of each night before the next morning swallows me whole. i’m afraid of what it means when we can’t be everything all of the time, that i can only just be something some of the time. i just want to go through everything i’ve written before and remember the way each one of them felt, remember them like seasons that make you nostalgic about the one you had before and how different this year is from the last. how each one carries with it these left over reminders of who you used to be. i just want to remember all the things i feel like i’m starting to forget.