Voltei.

Voltei. Mais velha, mais amarga, mais rabugenta.
A mesma, na essência.

"Voltei!!!! 

Exclamações sem vigor, quase que só por rigor! Retorno às escritas por um impulso quase sem pulso, fitando o mórbido já pálido, um trago da sobra do vinho que, cálido, ainda fermenta uma neurose, aquela antiga, romântica, clichê, sobrevivente : um livro.

Escrever sim, chega de espanto tanto! Vou engolir seu cérebro cuspindo o meu. O meu mau caráter , minha falta , de faltar muito bom senso! Afinal, o que envergonha-te não sou eu, mas as palavras que vocifero no espelho, ao te fitar. Minha vergonha de existir acaba aqui, depois de ver-te bobo, sem graça , escondendo-me , desviando do possível olhar dos outros , iludindo infinitamente o sua tão cuidadosa imagem.

Existo, não me desculpo mais por estar aqui, por gostar de lá, por querer o que vc não percebeu! Por falar o que não te conforta, por honrar o que te polui.

Afinal, onde está a púrpura senão na escandalosa postura de ser aquilo que nunca achou que não é!"

Malu Coelho

Gimme gimme gimme

Ride

Lana del Rey

I was in the winter of my life, and the men I met along the road were my only summer.

At night I fell asleep with visions of myself, dancing and laughing and crying with them.

Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour, and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times.

I was a singer - not a very popular one,

I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.

But I didn't really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I'd been living, they asked me why - but there's no use in talking to people who have home.

They have no idea what it's like to seek safety in other people - for home to be wherever you lay your head.

I was always an unusual girl.

My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean...

And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I'd be lying...

Because I was born to be the other woman.

Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.

Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.

I've been out on that open road

You can be my full time daddy,

White and gold

Singing blues has been getting old

You can be my full time baby,

Hot or cold

Don't break me down

I've been travelin' too long

I've been trying too hard

With one pretty song

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,

I drive fast, I am alone in midnight

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,

But I, I've got a war in my mind

So, I just ride, just ride,

I just ride, just ride

Dying young and I'm playing hard

That's the way my father made his life an art

Drink all day and we talk 'til dark

That's the way the road dogs do it – ride 'til dark.

Don't leave me now

Don't say good bye

Don't turn around

Leave me high and dry

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,

I drive fast, I am alone in midnight

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,

But I, I've got a war in my mind

I just ride, just ride,

I just ride, just ride

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy

I'm tired of driving 'til I see stars in my eyes

It's all I've got to keep myself sane, baby

So I just ride, I just ride

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,

I drive fast, I am alone in midnight

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,

But I, I've got a war in my mind

I just ride, just ride,

I just ride, I just ride

Every night I used to pray that I'd find my people, and finally I did on the open road.

We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art.

Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.

I believe in the country America used to be.

I believe in the person I want to become.

I believe in the freedom of the open road.

And my motto is the same as ever:

"I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I'm at war with myself I ride, I just ride."

Who are you?

Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?

Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?

I have. I am fucking crazy.

But I am free.